Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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