Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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