so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
