bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
me + whiskey = a bad person
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
