are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
