You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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