Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
