Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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