I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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