i need an iv and a liver transplant
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
