Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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