Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
