My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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