she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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