tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
