The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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