Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
