those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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