Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
