I feel like abortions should bother me more
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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