Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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