So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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