please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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