I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
