amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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