with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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