You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
