I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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