we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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