Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
