think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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