unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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