I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
