i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
