He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
