i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
