on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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