i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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