This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
