Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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