would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize