my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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