just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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