This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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