I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
