My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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