yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
