Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
