After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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