I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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