i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
