what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
