She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He shit in the fireplace
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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