Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
