My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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