Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
