Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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