ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
