I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
