just tell him i said nine months
where does the pee come out of this thing
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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