That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize