Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
