Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
3pm strippers are depressing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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